About the Book
How does a mother build resilience and inner strength in her only child, a daughter who is younger than eleven?
How does that child protect herself, find guidance and have a good life after her mother’s death? How does her childlike vision of a good life change as she grows up without her mom — or does it?
What does she find herself less able to do, and what is she (surprisingly) good at, after this loss that has almost erased her? What are the tools and resources that help her the most?
These are the questions I explore in my book, Enough Solid Ground: A Memoir of Early Loss and Resilience.
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On the blog, I post memoir and journal excerpts, writing process notes, and things that inspire me today — because it all feels related. Memoir writing, following decades of journaling, has increased the depth and clarity of my mind. I am able to share insights about the inner life of a child, a young girl, an only child, a specific and unique child, and she is also every child, is universal.
The child herself / myself, alive in my heart, helps me share her experiences. She has reported them directly to me by keeping a journal beginning at age eight (and still going). I still own all of my notebooks, except the first one, going back to age ten in 1975, when my mother was terminally ill.
My mother’s death, when I was eleven and a half, filled me with determination to be who I had always been, and to live the life my mom wanted for me. I would not let my loss become the thing that defined me. I would hold onto my special self, and my journal-writing habit would help me do it.
But growing up is hard. For a long time I couldn’t even see my ultimate challenge: to recognize that my life would not in fact follow my mother’s ideals. My choices would not and could not be her choices; my life would not be her life. I eventually understood that to live the life that was mine only, and to relish its uniqueness, was no betrayal of my mom. It was the true path to finding my place in the world.
A few favorite posts: